She is 80 and in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Lately she's been mad at me a lot because of things I've had to do to help her. So when she's happy, I'm happy, and when she's not, well, I try not to think of it. [March 21, 2007]
Still at Wal-Mart. I don't tell her all the things I learned about Wal-Mart from watching the DVD Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price. While we were there I helped her choose some new blouses in bright spring colors. I try to compliment her on her appearance whenever I can; she always looks neat and attractive. I haven't yet seen any decline in that area. However, when it came time to try on the blouses, she wanted to do it right in the middle of the store. This time I was prepared, unlike the first time it happened when I think I may have embarrassed her by scolding her and rushing her into the fitting room. This time I grabbed another blouse and said, "I'd like to try on some things too. Let's go to the fitting room together, and we can model for each other." It worked, and it preserved her dignity. She looked great in the new blouses. [March 21, 2007]
This is the view from the neurologist's office. I met with the neurologist to see if my mom could switch to a generic Alzheimer's medication. Over a year ago I signed her up for a Medicare Part D program, but at the end of this year they changed the coverage so that it won't cover brand name drugs during the "gap." The change meant that I had to ask all her doctors to change her meds to generics where they could. I'm worried that if she has to pay full price for the Alzheimer's drug, she'll stop taking it.Unfortunately, I learned, the big names (Aricept, Razadyne, Namenda) are not available as generics. At this point it would be great if she could add another Alzheimer's med to the one she already takes, but at $150 per month for each one, she would get to the gap sooner, and then would have to pay $300 per month out of her own pocket.
The situation is maddening. Medicare Part D is complex and hard to understand. I can't imagine being an elderly person, not comfortable on a computer, trying to understand how it works and which plan is the best for the meds I take. Even with my relative youth, education, and technical savvy I find it difficult to figure out. I signed my mom up with the plan that made the best sense for her at the time, and then they changed it. [March 22, 2007]
L is my mom's geriatric care manager. She gives me good advice, and even though she had strep throat she met with me and P (below). Because my mom doesn't believe there is anything wrong with her, we had to have the meeting without her and without her knowledge. Most of the things I do for her are done without her knowing anything about them. I hate to hide things from her, but there's no other way to do it. [March 22, 2007]
P is my big sister. I acquired two sisters when my mom became close to P's dad several years after my dad had died. Mom and B were companions until B passed away nearly two years ago. P is wonderful, magnificent, and all the other superlatives I can't think of right now.
She helps me out when I'm feeling distressed or when there's an issue with my mom that I just can't figure out.
K is my mother's primary care physician. Everyone at the clinic has been a big help to me. My mother's previous doctor, M, met with us for over an hour on her last day at work at the clinic. Her colleagues finally had to invite me and my mom to her going away party just to get M there. She tried to help me convince my mom to move to my town or into assisted living. [March 23, 2007]
In the hour I had between meeting with Dr. K and taking my mom to dinner I wanted to take a nap. When I left home I was feeling a bit run down, and during my time with my mom I was constantly on the go or dealing with my mom's anger and distress. So, I was pretty tired. My mom, however, wanted to show me all her blouses. Before Alzheimer's she would have insisted that I get some rest and probably would have canceled her plans for the evening. But as the disease takes its toll, she becomes more like a child, able to focus only on her own needs and desires.
I lay on the bed and took pictures and video of her. It ended up being the the most relaxing time of the trip for me.
We ate at a Mexican restaurant that night. My mom loves Mexican food and only gets to have it when I'm visiting. This was our second time during the visit. [March 23, 2007]
We went to hear the gospel group that big sister P's husband is in. They were playing at a veteran's home. My mom had a good time, and it was a nice way to conclude my visit. [March 23, 2007]
Back home and waiting for my bags at the airport. I hate leaving my mom and wish so badly that she would move here. There would be so many services for her here, and she wouldn't have to work up her courage - because she hates to ask for help - whenever she needed to ask someone to take her shopping. [March 24, 2007]
