I had heard that this time would come, but as we often do when faced with the painful and unpleasant, I never really believed it would happen. The mother I knew is gone. The woman who was intelligent, quick witted, and open minded is no more.
She has been replaced by a woman who says bigoted outrageous things, gets angry if she's contradicted, and often acts like a spoiled child.
My visit did not go well.
I was not prepared for the changes that have occurred in my mom since I last visited in December. I was impatient and angry with her. I could not label it "the illness" when she behaved badly but instead reacted as if she were unimpaired. I tried to reason with her. I tried to shame her into acting better. I got angry with her. And it's not her fault.
Yesterday I had tea with a friend. I related to her my various shortcomings in dealing with my mom. She asked me if perhaps I was sublimating my sadness into anger. The tears welled in my eyes, and I knew she was right.
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Alzheimer's Disease and the long-distance caregiver
About 950 Miles Away
I created this blog so that I would have a place to write about my experiences as the long-distance caregiver for my mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. So that I can write freely and honestly, without bringing embarrassment on my mother or my extended family, I decided to blog anonymously.
My mom died in March 2011.
Recommended Reading
- The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for Persons with Alzheimer's Disease, Related Dementing Illnesses, and Memory Loss in Later Life
- Learning to Speak Alzheimer's: A Groundbreaking Approach for Everyone Dealing with the Disease
- A Dignified Life: The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer's Care, A Guide for Family Caregivers
3 comments:
I do the same thing. Than I get mad at myself because your right it is not her fault. I cry,yell and pray. But the next day I do it all over again. Take care and I know how you fill.
I have read the article based on the 950 miles.I agree with that I had heard that this time would come, but as we often do when faced with the painful and unpleasant.I like post and experience shared by him.
For the last couple months I have been so frustrated and stressed out by caring for my boyfriends mom, but there are a couple things that help me clear my "mood". I wrote about them at http://here2helpservices.com/alz.html and hope they will help. It's not easy to be around someone with Alzheimer's and we can only do what we can do.
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