Sunday, April 1, 2007

A Forgotten Birthday?

Today is my husband's birthday. Before Alzheimer's my mom was super conscientious in sending birthday cards and presents and calling on the day itself. Since Alzheimer's, she frequently forgets birthdays - although if you ask her she can usually tell you the date of someone's birthday. For the past two years when I've talked to her on my birthday she hasn't remembered it was my birthday. I've started to remind her a couple weeks in advance that a birthday is coming up.

My mother did not send my husband a card. Nor do I expect her to call today. I'm not sure if she has forgotten or if she is still mad at him. It may be both things. A few weeks ago she called here, and my husband talked to her about her anger and hostility toward me. I don't think she would have got mad if he hadn't reminded her that she's a Christian and should practice Christian forgiveness. In her mind, he impugned her Christian life. She told me about it when I was there. His point was that as a self-professed Christian she should practice what she preaches. But trying to reason with a cognitively impaired person is like trying to reason with a three-year-old.

I'm grateful to my husband for being an advocate for me. I'm only sorry that my mom has become angry at him.

Happy birthday, honey.

No comments: